Jake Smith: Hear the testimony of a man of God.

This note was posted by Jake Smith on Facebook, HE is a man of God, Pray for Him during this hard time, but rejoice with Him that his grandfather is with Jesus. I am fruit of Don Trussel, because He poured into Jake, who poured into me. thank you God

I just wished I had spent more time with him.

Ascend the Hill

Take the world but give me Jesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suIeoR2Wils

It’s hard to express.

A deep wad of emotion rests within my heart. Gall makes the thoughts inside my head war, echo, repeat, and scream. Truthfully this is my first real time dealing with death… I have never cried so much in my life.

Last night my grandfather passed away after a long and terrible battle with cancer. I am so proud of him. I am so so so proud of him. In a world of failure, hurt, trial and suffering my grandpa did the most admirable thing. A remarkable thing. Something few men have ever done.

He finished well.

He fought cancer without becoming bitter or angry, he lived through heartbreak and trial while still able to joke about everything. Strong and athletic he went from being an aeronautical engineer, a quarter back at the University of Washington, a high school coach, a father, to slowly being bound in the house. Cancer is not quick, it is sad, it is vile. Yet amidst all this, despite being a man so independent and strong and slowly losing his very dignity.

He finished well.

Stephen Curtis Chapman

Heaven is the face

This song was written by a man who lost his daughter, a christian… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Mj6iOG1xM

The song says…

“And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,

But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for

God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

Bridge:

But in my mind’s eye I can see a place

Where Your glory fills every empty space.

All the cancer is gone,

Every mouth is fed,

And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.

Every lonely heart finds their one true love,

And there’s no more goodbye,

And no more not enough,

And there’s no more enemy.”

My grandpa was in so much pain but he held on. I wept the moment I heard the news that he was about to pass away. All I could think was…

I wish I had told him how much I loved him. I wished I had told him how important he was to me. I wish I had championed him. I wish I had held my grandpa, cried, and been real enough to show how much I value him.

Desperate and bawling I told my girlfriend Daryl through tear streaked eyes, “I just wish I could tell him how much I LOVE him.”

My girlfriend said “Jake, don’t you think he knows how much you love him? And if he doesn’t he’s about to find out.”

I’m a Christian, I believe in heaven. The song I quoted says “No more ENEMY”

You can hear the pain behind those words, because what that really means, is no more death. We have all been affected by death, we hate death, we feel death breathing down our neck. It knocks at our door, it stalks us in the night, it is what we all face… yet I heard when my grandpa died he was smiling. Why? Because to him… death had been defeated.

I have met people that have traveled the world and had yet to live. I have met rich men who have thirsted and tried to satisfy the heart and soul yet never imbibed a drop of living. My grandpa did not win an emmy, he wasn’t loud or outspoken, yet all in all I can say he truly lived.

My grandfather was not a distant figure, he was not too old to impact me, nor a symbol of an age of disconnection like so many grandparents. No. He was the only light of Christ amidst the darkness of alcohol, separation, dysfunction, and chaos. He was my father, he was one of my best friends, he was the great stability, the great reminder of faith in this world.

For years he drove me to school in the morning even though I lived far away. He picked me up from school the days I had no ride or my mom worked late. Every Sunday I could count on him to arrive at my house, drag me out of bed, and bring me to church. When I was a child he paid for me to go to the Word of Life summer camp where I finally understood the gospel. He fed, instilled wisdom, and loved me. I lived with my grandfather when my brother was in the hospital with cancer. I saw him at church, at home, always serving, always working. He was always there, big-hearted and faithful. Ready to drop everything for MY needs, his children, and his grandchildren. I cannot think of a moment he chose himself over me. He gave all his money, heart, time, and love to his family. He paid for missions trips when I didn’t have enough money, he gave 220$ a month to my mission trip to Taiwan even though he lived off of social security. He loved me unconditionally.

I wish we had loved him the same.

Really I just wish I had spent more time with him.

When I say my grandfather passed away, its hard to express the sheer weight behind that statement. He was the man in my life, the duct-tape in my family, the ever vigilant guardian. With the strong hands of a gardener, the gentleness that few know, and the wisdom few have. Outside of God and His word, I have lost what I knew to be my foundation.

I have read a grief observed by C.S. Lewis. I was amazed at the love in a memoir about death, I saw so much love in how C.S. Lewis mourned I realized that his goodbye to his wife showed more love than most marriages I have seen.

If my grandpa had not been a man of God, a man of faith, I shudder to think where I could be. Yet he himself was raised in a heart, alcoholic, painful home. He dealt with a family life few know. He defied statistics and did not fall into vice. He loved his kids enough to never drink, to never abuse them, to provide for them, and patiently live through the times they did not honor him. The times I was a terror as a child and did not honor him.

Every person who learns about Christ through my life, every person who knows Jesus more intimately through me… they are reaping the fruit of Donald Trussell. His lineage is a passion for souls that I refuse to let die. I will spread the gospel in his honor. I swear by it.

It is here on passover week that in this great sorrow I find the most incredible beauty. My grandpa lived for Jesus. It is here that thousands of years ago Jesus came and died upon a cross, and then accomplishing the impossible He rose from the dead. I’m not going to lay down proof or an argument or anything like that. This is not the place. What I will say is this… My grandpa believed in Jesus. The bible says “Death, where is your sting?”

That’s My King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upGCMl_b0n4

Two weeks ago my surgeon put a tube up my nose and poured painkiller into it, I asked “Will this take the pain away?”

“No, but it will take the edge off.”

Death will always be painful, no matter how much we want to numb ourselves to it. Losing Donald Trussell is a tragedy few will ever realize. Losing my grandpa is the single most painful loss I can recall. Yet… The sting is not there. My grandpa did not pass into an ethereal land of harps and angels and clouds. He did not cease to exist. He did not go to limbo. Without getting into theology or tough conversations about resurrection and whatnot all I can say is.

HE IS ALIVE. My grandfather is waiting right now, yearning, to be reunited with his children, his grandchildren, his wife. His body real, his heart beating strong, his soul at rest. Maybe he will be a gardener up in heaven someday, maybe he will just sing. What I do know is right now… amidst a storm so strong I cannot speak of it without bursting into tears… my grandfather KNOWS I love him. My grandfather is healed with Jesus. He died with a smile on his face because Jesus defeated death on the cross.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yvfso4Q8xg

Chris Tomlin

I Will Rise

There’s a peace I’ve come to know

Though my heart and flesh may fail

There’s an anchor for my soul

I can say “It is well”

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles’ wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

There’s a day that’s drawing near

When this darkness breaks to light

And the shadows disappear

And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles’ wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,

“Worthy is the Lamb”

And I hear the cry of every longing heart,

“Worthy is the Lamb”

[x2]

[Chorus:]

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles’ wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

Do things happen for a reason? Did you click on this link because it is divinely orchestrated? PLEASE don’t ignore this. I am begging you. This Sunday is easter sunday.

What is easter? Is it just a bunch of egg laying rabbits? I’ll tell you the truth… easter is the celebration of the conquering of death, the defeat of sin. Many of us walk around this earth so tired and worn. Chained down by pornography, drugs, lies, divorce, alcohol, sorrow, poverty, riches, and we are suffocating. Desperate for life. Choking for something deeper than the next high.

Easter is when Jesus came from heaven, He was the son of God, He lived a sinless life, died on a cross for us, and rose again. Does that excite you?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?!?!? Is not it beautiful, wonderful, and the most for lack of a better term freaking incredible thing ever?!?!?! Why do we run around tired and not rest in Jesus? Why do we treat Easter as the obligated holiday amidst more fun ones? Why do we forget and neglect so GREAT a salvation. If you knew my grandfather and don’t know Jesus, if anything in you, just a small small piece of you wants more to life than food, drink, and pleasure. I am begging you, reconsider, come to church this sunday, and open your ears to the most beautiful message of all time. If you are a christian I am begging you to listen to the wonderful message of salvation, rest in the fact that Jesus Christ is with YOU.

He died FOR you.

He went through hell, was whipped, beaten, his skin torn, his flesh marred, and still covered in blood, sweat, and bile got up on that cross. Able to conquer planets, call down legions, destroy worlds, He humbled Himself to endure the most painful thing imaginable for YOU. Then, rather than let this sacrifice be one of pure sorrow, He slayed death and pushed darkness away.

Death is swallowed up.

The victory is won.

One day all our best friends who know Jesus, mothers, fathers, daughters, will all be reunited in a beautiful place. A wonderful place. That is far more real than anything this cancer filled hurt laden earth has to offer. Far more real than anything you have ever known. I will see my grandfather again, I will tell him how much I love him. He will already know but like I said before I just wish to spend more time with him.

I love you grandpa. I miss you so much the breath in my chest is hard to catch. Every moment cuts deep like a knife. Tears flow down day after. But heaven is a sweeter place now that your gone. I love you, I KNOW you love me, I know your well. I will honor you, I will serve for you, and I will leave a legacy just like you did. Until we meet again.

Love, more than I could have ever told you,

Jake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwwRtRz70ps

Showbread

Until We Meet Again

My dearest friend, if I sing you this song, will you hear it from up in heaven?

I’m still down here in this ugly place, but up there’s where I’m heading

When they tell you I’m coming, please wait for me in front of the house that I’ll live in

And when Jesus walks me up to the door, I can finally see you again

It’s true that my heart was broken in two on the day I said goodbye to you

And I carry an ache in my chest until Jesus makes everything new

Those that we loved that left before us must have been thrilled beyond words

when you ran through the gates and into the kingdom and up to the feet of my Lord

Once sick and frail, once weak and pale, now made perfect and new

No more aching and crying, or breaking and dying

Finally home in the arms of who loves you

When you run and you play in the light of the Son, hold me in your heart and mind

Don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I’m leaving this cold place behind

How my heart aches to think of the day when my faith shall finally be sight

When the crowds will part and cheer as I come, as I walk through toward the light

And my father, my love, Jesus, my king, in His glory, seated on His throne

He’ll take me in His arms as the crowds cheer and sing

and say “Well done child, welcome home”

And He’ll walk me to the house that He built

with the father’s love and the carpenter’s touch

And you’ll run to me and I’ll hold you again, for my friend, I have missed you so much

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One thought on “Jake Smith: Hear the testimony of a man of God.

  1. Stumbled across this blog via a strange Twitter detour. So glad I did. This post both moved and inspired me.

    The only thing that kept me from a broken heart when my mom died in 2006 (also of cancer) was knowing she was saved and that I would see her in heaven again someday.

    God bless you. 🙂

    Like

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